I returned from a run and found a Hawaiian blind snake crawling on the concrete floor of my garage. It was the first one I had seen in years. It was also the largest one I’ve ever seen. My wife picked it up while I jumped on a chair and cowered.
Blind snakes normally live underground or in piles of moist leaves but certainly not on concrete garage floors, so we decided to move it to an inviting place in the backyard where the leaves have not been raked since Nixon was president. Before introducing it to its new home, however, we decided that the Hawaiian Blind Snake should meet our Hawaiian Blind Dog, Stevie Wonder, so we quickly arranged an extraordinary meeting. Unfortunately, neither seemed impressed with the momentous occasion.
“Meh,” thought Steve.
Hawaiian blind snakes were probably introduced to Hawaii in the 1930s in potting soil from the Philippines. They are non-venomous and rarely attain 6-inches, although this one was a tad longer. They are the smallest known snake species.
They are often mistaken for earthworms, but if you have good eyes - or a magnifying glass - you will see they have scales and a tiny forked tongue. They love to eat termite eggs and larvae and are often found actually living inside termite nests, which, I suppose, would be no different than if we were living inside Taco Bell. Blind snakes have been introduced in Australia and other parts of the world specifically for termite control.
After a traumatic early life, Stevie Wonder came to our home five years ago. No matter how politically correct you want to be, Stevie is not visually-impaired. He is - according to the vet - flat-out, totally blind. We did not adopt him to rid our yard of termites, which is good, because Steve does not eat termites. He does, however, eat dirt. Despite a few other flaws, Steve has one thing going for him that blind snakes do not: Steve is a good boy. Blind snakes are never good boys. All blind snakes are female.
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